GUIDANCE & COUNSELING IN SECONDARY SCHOOLS

Its so surprising more than a

decade after leaving high

school, guidance and

counseling is still not given that

much attention in government

schools.

Today if your where you ask a

school leaver on which options

or just the career they would

want to pursue one would be

surprised , some have even

more than five career options

which may not be even be

related, clearly showing lack of

direction.

I think the government must

employ fulltime guidance

counselors in all public

secondary schools rather than

having a teacher who does it

parttime, just after classes,even

bring in professionals from

various fields to tell the

students on different career

prospects

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IF I HAD NOT BEEN FOR MOVIES

Things you would never know

if it weren't

for the movies...

Large, loft apartments in New

York City are

plentiful and affordable, even if

the tenants are

unemployed.

One of a pair of identical twins

is evil.

Should you decide to defuse a

bomb, don't worry

about which wire to cut. You

will always choose

the right one.

It doesn't matter if you are

greatly outnumbered

in a fight involving martial arts.

Your enemies will

wait patiently to attack you one

by one... dancing

around in a threatening

manner until you have

dispatched their predecessors.

When you turn out the light to

go to bed,

everything in your bedroom

will still be clearly

visible but slightly blue.

If you are blonde and pretty, it

is possible to be a

world-famous expert on

nuclear fission, dinosaurs,

hieroglyphics, or anything else,

at the age of 22.

Honest and hard-working

policemen are usually

gunned down a day or two

before retirement.

Rather than wasting bullets,

megalomaniacs

prefer to kill their enemies

using complex

machinery involving fuses,

deadly gasses, lasers,

buzz saws and hungry sharks,

all of which will

give their captives at least 20

minutes to escape.

During all crime investigations,

it is necessary to

visit a strip club at least once.

All beds have special L-shaped

covers that reach

up to the armpits of a woman

but only to the

waist of the man lying beside

her.

All grocery shopping bags

contain at least one

French bread and one bunch

of carrots with leafy

tops.

It's easy to land a plane,

providing there is

someone in the control tower

to talk you down.

If you are beautiful, your

makeup never rubs off,

even while scuba-diving or

fighting aliens.

However if you are overweight,

your mascara will

run and your lipstick will

smear.

The ventilation system of any

building is the

perfect hiding place. No one

will ever think of

looking for you in there, and

you can travel to any

other part of the building

without difficulty.

You're very likely to survive any

battle in any war

unless you make the mistake

of showing someone

a picture of your sweetheart

back home.

Should you wish to pass

yourself off as a German

officer, it is not necessary to

speak the language.

A German accent will do.

A man will show no pain while

taking the most

horrific beating, but will wince

when a woman

tries to clean his wounds.

If staying in a haunted house,

women must

investigate any strange noises

in their most

diaphanous underwear, which

is what they

happened to be wearing when

the car broke

down.

If someone says "I'll be right

back", they won't.

Even when driving down a

perfectly straight road,

it is necessary to turn the

steering wheel from

time to time.

All bombs are fitted with

electronic timing devices

with large red readouts so you

know exactly when

they're going to go off.

A police detective can only

solve a case after he

has been suspended from

duty.

If you decide to start dancing

in the street,

everyone around you will be

able to mirror all the

steps you come up with, and

hear the music in

your head.

Police departments give their

officers personality

tests to make sure each is

assigned a partner who

is their total opposite.

When they are alone, all

foreigners prefer to

speak English to each other.

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MALE & FEMALE INTERPRETATION OF WORDS

1 THINGY (thing-ee) n.

Female ......Any part under a

car's hood.

Male ..... The strap fastener on

a woman's bra.

2 VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel)

adj.

Female ....Fully opening up

one's self emotionally to

another.

Male .... Playing football

without a cup.

3 COMMUNICATION ( ko-

myoo-ni-kay-shon) n .

Female ... The open sharing of

thoughts and feelings with

one's partner.

Male ... Leaving a note before

taking off on a fishing trip with

the

boys.

4 COMMITMENT (ko- mit-ment)

n.

Female .... A desire to get

married and raise a family.

Male ...... Trying not to hit on

other women while out with

this one.

5 ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-

tayn-ment) n.

Female .... A good movie,

concert, play or book.

Male ...... Anything that can be

done while drinking beer.

6 FLATULENCE ( flach-u-lens) n.

Female .... An embarrassing

byproduct of indigestion.

Male ...... A source of

entertainment, self-expression,

male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv)

n.

Female ......The greatest

expression of intimacy a couple

can achieve.

Male ........Call it whatever you

want, just as long as we do it.

8 REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht

kon-trohl) n.

Female .... A device for

changing from one TV channel

to another.

Male ... A device for scanning

through all 375 channels every

5 minutes.

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New book accuses mining firm of Zambia exploitation (AFP) – Sep 19, 2011

LUSAKA — Copper-rich Zambia is a victim of Swiss-based commodity companies who rake in profits by exploiting developing countries, a new book out Monday claimed. "Commodities - Switerland's Most Dangerous Business" looks at the social and environmental impact on the southern African country of a mine owned by Swiss giant Glencore. A chapter of the book published by the non-governmental organisation Berne Declaration (BD) discusses the various means by which, they say, Glencore deprives Zambia of tax revenue. These include the non-payment of customs duties, internal billing and shifting losses, despite Zambia's low taxes used to attract investors. "By way of comparison, in Norway, 70 percent of oil export profit comes back to the state. In Zambia, the state's share is less than five percent," said the chapter's author, the journalist Alice Odiot. BD has already appealed to the European union to stop all future financing by the European Investment Bank to Glencore over "serious concerns" about the mine in which it has a 73.1 percent share. Glencore said in a statement in June that there were "factual errors" in an audit commissioned by Zambia's treasury and that it was confident of having correctly calculated and paid its taxes. The site operated by Glencore through its subsidiary Mopani Copper Mines (MCM) covers 19,000 hectares in the northern town of Mufulira in Zambia's famous copperbelt region. The sharing of the country's copper-sourced riches is a key issue in Tuesday's election, which pits the pro-business incumbent, President Rupiah Banda, against opposition leader Michael Sata, who accuses his rival of climbing into bed with foreign investors at Zambia's expense and failing to improve life for ordinary Zambians. Mopani chairman Emmanuel Mutati told AFP the company paid $63 million in taxes last year on profits of $78 million, and has spent millions on social and infrastructure projects like hospitals, schools and roads. A new book claims Glencore and other Swiss-based commodity companies are guilty of exploiting copper-rich Zambia (AFP/File, Sebastian Derungs) www.google.com/news

THE BLANKET

A man and a woman who have
never met before find themselves
in the same sleeping carriage of a
train. After the initial
embarrassment, they both
manage to get to sleep; the
woman on the top bunk, the man
on the lower.

In the middle of the night the
woman leans over and says, “I’m
sorry to bother you but I’m
awfully cold and I was wondering
if you could possibly pass me
another blanket.”

The man leans out and, with a
glint in his eye, says, “I’ve got a
better idea… let’s pretend we’re
married.”

“Why not?” giggles the excited
woman.

“Good,” he replies. “Get your own
blanket.”

PSalm 40 - KJV

To the chief Musician, A Psalm of David.

1 I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. 2 He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. 3 And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord. 4 Blessed is that man that maketh the Lord his trust, and respecteth not the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies. 5 Many, O Lord my God, are thy wonderful works which thou hast done, and thy thoughts which are to us-ward: they cannot be reckoned up in order unto thee: if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered.



6 Sacrifice and offering thou didst not desire; mine ears hast thou opened: burnt offering and sin offering hast thou not required. 7 Then said I, Lo, I come: in the volume of the book it is written of me, 8 I delight to do thy will, O my God: yea, thy law is within my heart. 9 I have preached righteousness in the great congregation: lo, I have not refrained my lips, O Lord, thou knowest. 10 I have not hid thy righteousness within my heart; I have declared thy faithfulness and thy salvation: I have not concealed thy lovingkindness and thy truth from the great congregation.



11 Withhold not thou thy tender mercies from me, O Lord: let thy lovingkindness and thy truth continually preserve me. 12 For innumerable evils have compassed me about: mine iniquities have taken hold upon me, so that I am not able to look up; they are more than the hairs of mine head: therefore my heart faileth me. 13 Be pleased, O Lord, to deliver me: O Lord, make haste to help me. 14 Let them be ashamed and confounded together that seek after my soul to destroy it; let them be driven backward and put to shame that wish me evil. 15 Let them be desolate for a reward of their shame that say unto me, Aha, aha. 16 Let all those that seek thee rejoice and be glad in thee: let such as love thy salvation say continually, The Lord be magnified. 17 But I am poor and needy; yet the Lord thinketh upon me: thou art my help and my deliverer; make no tarrying, O my God.

Emmanuel, God with Us

In the Bible, Jesus has many names that identify His character. One of those names is Emmanuel, which means “God with us.” Before Jesus came to earth, the Spirit of God resided in the temple. The people had to go through all sorts of rituals to become clean enough to go near Him. Now, as believers, we are the temple of the Holy Spirit. When we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, He is the one who cleanses us and actually makes His home in our hearts.

Isn’t it good to know that God is with us? He is closer than the very air that we breathe. His peace is always with us. His joy is always with us. His power is always with us, and His victory is always with us. The next time you feel alone, remember, you serve Emmanuel — the God who is always with you!