Things you would never know
if it weren't
for the movies...
Large, loft apartments in New
York City are
plentiful and affordable, even if
the tenants are
unemployed.
One of a pair of identical twins
is evil.
Should you decide to defuse a
bomb, don't worry
about which wire to cut. You
will always choose
the right one.
It doesn't matter if you are
greatly outnumbered
in a fight involving martial arts.
Your enemies will
wait patiently to attack you one
by one... dancing
around in a threatening
manner until you have
dispatched their predecessors.
When you turn out the light to
go to bed,
everything in your bedroom
will still be clearly
visible but slightly blue.
If you are blonde and pretty, it
is possible to be a
world-famous expert on
nuclear fission, dinosaurs,
hieroglyphics, or anything else,
at the age of 22.
Honest and hard-working
policemen are usually
gunned down a day or two
before retirement.
Rather than wasting bullets,
megalomaniacs
prefer to kill their enemies
using complex
machinery involving fuses,
deadly gasses, lasers,
buzz saws and hungry sharks,
all of which will
give their captives at least 20
minutes to escape.
During all crime investigations,
it is necessary to
visit a strip club at least once.
All beds have special L-shaped
covers that reach
up to the armpits of a woman
but only to the
waist of the man lying beside
her.
All grocery shopping bags
contain at least one
French bread and one bunch
of carrots with leafy
tops.
It's easy to land a plane,
providing there is
someone in the control tower
to talk you down.
If you are beautiful, your
makeup never rubs off,
even while scuba-diving or
fighting aliens.
However if you are overweight,
your mascara will
run and your lipstick will
smear.
The ventilation system of any
building is the
perfect hiding place. No one
will ever think of
looking for you in there, and
you can travel to any
other part of the building
without difficulty.
You're very likely to survive any
battle in any war
unless you make the mistake
of showing someone
a picture of your sweetheart
back home.
Should you wish to pass
yourself off as a German
officer, it is not necessary to
speak the language.
A German accent will do.
A man will show no pain while
taking the most
horrific beating, but will wince
when a woman
tries to clean his wounds.
If staying in a haunted house,
women must
investigate any strange noises
in their most
diaphanous underwear, which
is what they
happened to be wearing when
the car broke
down.
If someone says "I'll be right
back", they won't.
Even when driving down a
perfectly straight road,
it is necessary to turn the
steering wheel from
time to time.
All bombs are fitted with
electronic timing devices
with large red readouts so you
know exactly when
they're going to go off.
A police detective can only
solve a case after he
has been suspended from
duty.
If you decide to start dancing
in the street,
everyone around you will be
able to mirror all the
steps you come up with, and
hear the music in
your head.
Police departments give their
officers personality
tests to make sure each is
assigned a partner who
is their total opposite.
When they are alone, all
foreigners prefer to
speak English to each other.
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