A torn K50, 000 note and a similarly worn out K500 note arrived at the Bank of Zambia to be retired. As they moved along the conveyor belt to be burnt, they struck up a conversation. The K50, 000 note began to reminisce about its travels all over the country.
“I’ve had a pretty good life,” the K50, 000 proclaimed. “I’ve been to State House, Manda Hill, Garden’s cockpit, Times Cafe, Barclays Sports Complex, and Chez’ Ntemba, all manner of Cock tails, Arcades Complex, the finest restaurants and night clubs, you name it, I have been there. I have also been to the finest entertainment centers and hottest night clubs all over the country and even a cruise on the Lake Tanganyika and Siavonga.”
“Wow!” said the K500. You’ve really had an exciting life!”
“So tell me,” says the K50, 000, “where have you been throughout your lifetime?”
The K500 replies,
“Oh, I’ve been to the New Apostolic & Methodist Church, the Redeemed Christian Church, the AFM Church , the Deeper Life Bible Church , Bread of Life Church, Grace Ministries, Catholic Church, Winners’ Chapel, Miracle Life Family church, Anglican & Baptist Church, the C & S Church, CCC, ZAOGA,CMML, the Lutheran Church , Reformed Church In Zambia, Seventh Day Adventist Church, United Church of Zambia, the Evangelical Church in Zambia, Christ Embassy, Catholic Church, …”
The K50, 000 note interrupts, “What is a church?!!”
Friday, April 29, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
CONFESSION
A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work.
Her nine-year-old son comes home unexpectedly, sees the illegal lovers and
hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch.
Then the woman's husband unexpectedly comes home. She hides her lover in
the cupboard, not realizing that her little boy is in there already.
The little Boy says : "Dark in here."
The Man says : "Yes, it is."
Boy : "I have a soccer ball; do you want to buy it?"
Man : "No, thanks."
Boy : "My dad's outside, I'll call him if you don't buy it!"
Man : "OK, how much?"
Boy : "k250 000-00."
A few weeks later it happened again and the boy and the lover were in
the cupboard together again.
Boy : "Dark in here."
Man : "Yes, it is."
Boy : "I have soccer boots."
The Man, remembering the last time, asks the boy: "How much?"
The Boy says : "k 750000-00."
The Man says : "Fine, I will buy them."
Her nine-year-old son comes home unexpectedly, sees the illegal lovers and
hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch.
Then the woman's husband unexpectedly comes home. She hides her lover in
the cupboard, not realizing that her little boy is in there already.
The little Boy says : "Dark in here."
The Man says : "Yes, it is."
Boy : "I have a soccer ball; do you want to buy it?"
Man : "No, thanks."
Boy : "My dad's outside, I'll call him if you don't buy it!"
Man : "OK, how much?"
Boy : "k250 000-00."
A few weeks later it happened again and the boy and the lover were in
the cupboard together again.
Boy : "Dark in here."
Man : "Yes, it is."
Boy : "I have soccer boots."
The Man, remembering the last time, asks the boy: "How much?"
The Boy says : "k 750000-00."
The Man says : "Fine, I will buy them."
RE: JOB APPLICATION
am apply to my job of security guard to u boss in you company of shopright.i complete to grade 8 examination in 2007.am 27 ears to be born of age and no malluied and no childish.my father is dead a long time ago and my mother mary in zaire country there 10 year now.no see she no body to help me.my certificate is just sitting home for itself,but passes in mathematics,science ,geography and all subject,but fail in english because of njanja teacher,mr phiri teaching me is jeros of myself,me wear expense cloth than ngoni teacher.i hear people you want security guard to you company and i tell u am 1 of that job experience for two years,i shoot thief dead,i want to join your company and chess criminal out with me ak47.please consider my application careful and call me anytime because me have celphone.am red for interviwes with you.i am very honest and can speek english free.PLEASE ALSO GREAT YOUR WIFE AND KNOW THAT ENGLISH IS NOT OUR MOTHERLAND. YOURS IN FAITH ************
MISERY LOVES COMPANY
Don't let anyone tell you that you can't do something.
Don't let anyone tell you that you can't have this or that.
Don't let anyone put you down and say that nobody would want you.
Don't feel that you have to settle for just anyone or anything.
You have the God given talent and intelligence to get what you want.
You have the God given ability to strive to be anything you want to be.
You don't need the negative words from people who are going nowhere. Misery loves company and that is why people try to keep you down by saying negative things to you. If they can keep you down on their level, they're happy.
You can't fall for that because you are too smart for that. You need to stand in front of a mirror, put your hands on your hips and say out loud, (I Look Good), (I Feel Good), (Watch Out World, Here I Come).
Don't let anyone tell you that you can't have this or that.
Don't let anyone put you down and say that nobody would want you.
Don't feel that you have to settle for just anyone or anything.
You have the God given talent and intelligence to get what you want.
You have the God given ability to strive to be anything you want to be.
You don't need the negative words from people who are going nowhere. Misery loves company and that is why people try to keep you down by saying negative things to you. If they can keep you down on their level, they're happy.
You can't fall for that because you are too smart for that. You need to stand in front of a mirror, put your hands on your hips and say out loud, (I Look Good), (I Feel Good), (Watch Out World, Here I Come).
Thursday, April 7, 2011
YOU HAVE TO MAKE A DECISION TODAY
You know it eventually had to come to this. You have to make a decision. Some of the decisions that you have been putting off are:
-
Do you follow your passion and dream and start that business?
Do you end some of your friendships or relationships with people?
Do you start going to church?
Do you finally start that exercise problem you said you wanted to do?
Whatever your decision you have to make in your life, make that decision today.
-
Stop putting it off because it is not bringing you any closer to the enjoyment of life you want for yourself.
-
Do you follow your passion and dream and start that business?
Do you end some of your friendships or relationships with people?
Do you start going to church?
Do you finally start that exercise problem you said you wanted to do?
Whatever your decision you have to make in your life, make that decision today.
-
Stop putting it off because it is not bringing you any closer to the enjoyment of life you want for yourself.
Friday, April 1, 2011
I DON'T SEE A WALL (DO YOU?)
If obstacles or walls are put in front of you, you only have 5 options.
(1) Go over the wall.
(2) Go around the wall.
(3) Go under the wall.
(4) Go through the wall.
(5) Act like you don't see a wall and keep moving.
There are NO OTHER OPTIONS.
It doesn't matter which option you choose, just make it to the other side where success, joy and happiness is waiting for you.
-
SAYING HURTFUL WORDS * TRUST ISSUES * CHEATING * TAKING THINGS THE WRONG WAY * TOO SENSITIVE * BEING LAZY * JEALOUSY * WAY TOO MANY ARGUMENTS * DOUBLE STANDARDS * LACK OF COMMUNICATION * NO RESPECT * HAVING A CLOSED MIND * NO STIMULATING CONVERSATION * DOING THINGS BASED ON EMOTIONS
-
If these sound like problems that you are facing in your relationship, then get the answers to how to fix these and other problems you may be having.
(1) Go over the wall.
(2) Go around the wall.
(3) Go under the wall.
(4) Go through the wall.
(5) Act like you don't see a wall and keep moving.
There are NO OTHER OPTIONS.
It doesn't matter which option you choose, just make it to the other side where success, joy and happiness is waiting for you.
-
SAYING HURTFUL WORDS * TRUST ISSUES * CHEATING * TAKING THINGS THE WRONG WAY * TOO SENSITIVE * BEING LAZY * JEALOUSY * WAY TOO MANY ARGUMENTS * DOUBLE STANDARDS * LACK OF COMMUNICATION * NO RESPECT * HAVING A CLOSED MIND * NO STIMULATING CONVERSATION * DOING THINGS BASED ON EMOTIONS
-
If these sound like problems that you are facing in your relationship, then get the answers to how to fix these and other problems you may be having.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Why This Election Matters
Why This Election Matters
In Jesus’ parable of the talents, a master gives a coin to each of his servants before leaving for a while. When he returns, he asks what profit each has made. Suffice it to say it doesn’t go well for the guy who hides the money and hands it back with no gain. The moral is clear: God’s gifts come with a responsibility to use them in His service. And, for those of us who are Zambians citizens and over 18, one of these gifts is your vote—a say in one of the Fastest growing economies these parts of the earth.
Many younger Christians take a dim view of politics, oftentimes based on personal exposure to the missteps of a previous generation’s foray into governmental activism. In many ways, this represents a welcome shift toward a more holistic mission toward culture as a whole.
But the importance of government in Scripture should make us cautious about letting the pendulum swing away entirely from political engagement. Earthly citizenship—and, by implication, its most basic actions of voting and paying taxes—are upheld by the New Testament. Three decades after Jesus’ ascension, Paul wrote to the Roman Christians that even the officials of the pagan imperial “powers that be” were, literally, “ministers of God” for upholding good and punishing evil.
No country is a substitute for the Kingdom of God. But in Kingdom-seekers’ patient waiting for God’s completed rule, we are exhorted to see the hand of God in the righteous administration of human government. This truth endures even into our current system of a government of, by and for the people. The gift of modern democracy comes with a responsibility: if you want to find “the powers that be,” ordained by God for the good of all, just look in the mirror. We’re it.
With this kind of mandate, simply opting out is not an option. So why does it feel so tempting to blow off voting—especially in a distinctly un-glamorous election?
One significant problem is that our culture is decreasingly suited to the act of voting. Our cultural obsession with individual customization means we live more and more in environments tailored to our specific preferences—and we demonstrate less and less patience with situations that don’t reflect our wishes. Voting doesn’t make much sense in this climate. After all, being a voter is the opposite of being at the center of the action. But this is also why, in our current social moment, voting is a profoundly countercultural act of loving our neighbors as ourselves.
Many younger Christians feel disillusioned with all parties (MMD, PF and UPND)—and maybe the state of candidates and government in general. That’s why it’s important to remember that elections are about people—and don’t let anyone get away with saying it doesn’t matter who wins. That’s always a cop-out. It may be that no candidate feels completely satisfying to vote for, but your satisfaction isn’t the point of voting. The point is making an informed decision about the person you think will best serve your neighbors.
Elections are going to happen whether or not Christians are ready to vote. And the people who are elected will make decisions on issues large and small. The same is true for the various referenda and regulations put forward by our Goverment and municipalities. The vast majority of these decisions won’t affect the vast majority of us directly. But each affects somebody, and there’s the rub: Whether you’re personally motivated by a given issue or candidate, do you love your neighbor enough to learn what’s at stake in your community’s life, and then pull the lever?
Of course, there’s zero chance one person’s vote will sway an election either way, and if the results don’t go your way, you still have to live with them. But voting in spite of the seeming insignificance of individual action may be the most subtly redemptive aspect of thuming the ballot. We don’t vote because it’s a guaranteed way to make a difference. We vote because it’s an act of fidelity to be a part of something bigger than ourselves, to which God has called us.
So how should you vote? It requires work: voting is just the tip of the iceberg of informed citizenship. And you’ll find good information on more local issues in the endorsements from your local papers (whether or not you agree with them) and trusted regional nonprofits.
We can also all benefit from the advice of former Sen. Sam Nunn (USA) when asked what kind of candidates we should look for: Someone who lets facts determine their opinions and puts country above party.
As someone has said, you don’t blame a house for being dark at night—you blame the people who don’t turn on the lights. When Christians can’t be bothered to bring the light of neighbor-love to the ballot box, we shouldn’t be surprised—or look for anyone else to blame—when those with less noble aims bend the machinery of power to their purposes. If we don’t show up to represent a God whose common grace serves the common good—sun and rain that nourish the wicked and righteous alike—who will?
Register as a Voter Today!
acknowledgements.......www.facebook.com/truthmagazine
In Jesus’ parable of the talents, a master gives a coin to each of his servants before leaving for a while. When he returns, he asks what profit each has made. Suffice it to say it doesn’t go well for the guy who hides the money and hands it back with no gain. The moral is clear: God’s gifts come with a responsibility to use them in His service. And, for those of us who are Zambians citizens and over 18, one of these gifts is your vote—a say in one of the Fastest growing economies these parts of the earth.
Many younger Christians take a dim view of politics, oftentimes based on personal exposure to the missteps of a previous generation’s foray into governmental activism. In many ways, this represents a welcome shift toward a more holistic mission toward culture as a whole.
But the importance of government in Scripture should make us cautious about letting the pendulum swing away entirely from political engagement. Earthly citizenship—and, by implication, its most basic actions of voting and paying taxes—are upheld by the New Testament. Three decades after Jesus’ ascension, Paul wrote to the Roman Christians that even the officials of the pagan imperial “powers that be” were, literally, “ministers of God” for upholding good and punishing evil.
No country is a substitute for the Kingdom of God. But in Kingdom-seekers’ patient waiting for God’s completed rule, we are exhorted to see the hand of God in the righteous administration of human government. This truth endures even into our current system of a government of, by and for the people. The gift of modern democracy comes with a responsibility: if you want to find “the powers that be,” ordained by God for the good of all, just look in the mirror. We’re it.
With this kind of mandate, simply opting out is not an option. So why does it feel so tempting to blow off voting—especially in a distinctly un-glamorous election?
One significant problem is that our culture is decreasingly suited to the act of voting. Our cultural obsession with individual customization means we live more and more in environments tailored to our specific preferences—and we demonstrate less and less patience with situations that don’t reflect our wishes. Voting doesn’t make much sense in this climate. After all, being a voter is the opposite of being at the center of the action. But this is also why, in our current social moment, voting is a profoundly countercultural act of loving our neighbors as ourselves.
Many younger Christians feel disillusioned with all parties (MMD, PF and UPND)—and maybe the state of candidates and government in general. That’s why it’s important to remember that elections are about people—and don’t let anyone get away with saying it doesn’t matter who wins. That’s always a cop-out. It may be that no candidate feels completely satisfying to vote for, but your satisfaction isn’t the point of voting. The point is making an informed decision about the person you think will best serve your neighbors.
Elections are going to happen whether or not Christians are ready to vote. And the people who are elected will make decisions on issues large and small. The same is true for the various referenda and regulations put forward by our Goverment and municipalities. The vast majority of these decisions won’t affect the vast majority of us directly. But each affects somebody, and there’s the rub: Whether you’re personally motivated by a given issue or candidate, do you love your neighbor enough to learn what’s at stake in your community’s life, and then pull the lever?
Of course, there’s zero chance one person’s vote will sway an election either way, and if the results don’t go your way, you still have to live with them. But voting in spite of the seeming insignificance of individual action may be the most subtly redemptive aspect of thuming the ballot. We don’t vote because it’s a guaranteed way to make a difference. We vote because it’s an act of fidelity to be a part of something bigger than ourselves, to which God has called us.
So how should you vote? It requires work: voting is just the tip of the iceberg of informed citizenship. And you’ll find good information on more local issues in the endorsements from your local papers (whether or not you agree with them) and trusted regional nonprofits.
We can also all benefit from the advice of former Sen. Sam Nunn (USA) when asked what kind of candidates we should look for: Someone who lets facts determine their opinions and puts country above party.
As someone has said, you don’t blame a house for being dark at night—you blame the people who don’t turn on the lights. When Christians can’t be bothered to bring the light of neighbor-love to the ballot box, we shouldn’t be surprised—or look for anyone else to blame—when those with less noble aims bend the machinery of power to their purposes. If we don’t show up to represent a God whose common grace serves the common good—sun and rain that nourish the wicked and righteous alike—who will?
Register as a Voter Today!
acknowledgements.......www.facebook.com/truthmagazine
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)